The Silver Rule

"Treat others the way you would want to be treated."

          These words hung above the door to my second grade classroom in brightly colored construction paper for all to see. "The golden rule," we were taught, was something we should always keep in mind when interacting with other people. It is an especially handy rule, particularly in the sense that it is not hard for people to understand. The simple repeating of the golden rule by our teacher in her sing-song voice would halt all hair-pulling and name-calling, and the classroom would return to it's calm state. One never had to worry about monitoring the obedience to the golden rule by others, as that was what teachers were for. If things got really out of hand, tattling was always an option, but only if done in secret, lest you gain a reputation as a tattle-taler. Nonetheless, the golden rule seemed to do its job quite well. That is, if everyone followed it.

          You see, that is where our problem lies. Without the overhanging threat of a time-out or trip to the principals office, what incentive is there to follow the golden rule? Many people will come to the conclusion that there is none, and the golden rule is better left in grade school. We are then left with the dilemma of having to deal with people who choose to abandon this rule. We have to become the monitors of how others treat us. In a way, we need to add another rule to our list. I believe this rule should read: "Let others treat you as you would treat them." Would you treat others with disrespect? I hope not. Why then, would you allow someone to treat you that way? People are going to treat you the way you let them treat you. You cannot simply hope that one day they will learn their lesson and start treating you better. Sometimes you need to be someone's lesson. By allowing yourself to be treated badly by someone, you are hurting both them and yourself. You can teach them a valuable lesson by simply walking away. There is no need to fight fire with fire. Hatred will not fix hatred. By treating others with respect, and refusing to associate with anyone who does otherwise, you will already begin to help everyone, including yourself. So, be an example to others, treating them the way you would want to be treated, with respect and kindness. But always remember this secondary, perhaps silver rule: Let others treat you as you would treat them.