Don't Be That Girl

          We all know one (or many) of those girls who seem to bring their sob story with them everywhere they go. They're constantly looking for sympathy from other people about how their life is so hard and they can never seem to catch a break. We listen to them cry about how they're always the victim, and anything bad that happens is never their fault. Well of course you don't want to be (and hopefully aren't) that girl. That girl needs to be shipped to her own island with a box of tissues and some self-help books.
          Now, let's talk about another girl that you don't need to be. This girl is the one who goes through life looking for sympathy, not from other people, but from herself. She looks at the amazing things that other people have done and let's out a sigh as she wishes that she could be that talented, motivated, etc.. This is the girl who just is. She takes what's given to her, she doesn't ask questions. She doesn't want to get in anyone's way. If this girl could be described as a color, that color would be beige. And not even the beige that can look good when paired with other colors. This is the beige that has absolutely nothing to contribute to any color palette whatsoever. This girl whom you do not want to be is the one who does what's absolutely necessary, and nothing more. Dreaming is just something this girl does at night. This is the girl who will look back on her life when she's an old lady sitting in her beige living room and wish that she could have gone on at least one adventure.
          Ok, so now that we've established who that banal girl is, let's talk about why you are not that girl. You are not that girl, because you decide not to be that girl. You have dreams, and every day you make the choice to work your cute little butt off to achieve those dreams. You are not that girl, because you know that you can do anything you want to. No one needs to give you permission to be happy. No one needs to hand you the opportunity. You are not going to sit around and wait to be affected. You are going to go out and affect the world. Because, darling, you are not that girl.

Let's Get Naked

          When we were little, we ran around the playground with other boys and girls, blissfully unaware of what actually made us boys and girls. Until, that is, the little stink Tommy Holter decided to reveal to the entire kindergarten class why his body is different from his new baby sister's. After that, we were always told that your body is private, and not to be shown to everyone, let alone an entire room full of your classmates. In middle school we received the safe sex talk hearing the phrases "modest is hottest" and "don't do a thing without that ring!" at least a hundred times. To be physically naked with another person, we were told, was something special that has lasting effects on each person.

         Now what about being emotionally naked with someone? You may be laughing and thinking to yourself that there's no such thing. It's not like we have clothes on our emotions or something. Well, I think we do. I think that over time, we all try to cover up our emotions and stories so that we can focus, adjust, fit in, and move on. And the thing about these clothes, is that there really isn't a rule of when to take them off. There is no commandment saying "thou shalt not reveal thy daddy issues until the fourth date." Nope, we decide it all. We are given this frightening liberty of deciding whom and when we reveal our naked and raw emotions to. But much like revealing our physical bodies to someone, we don't get to decide what happens after we reveal our body of emotions to someone. I found this out the hard way a few times. I tend to trust people and open up to them very quickly. Some might argue that this is a good quality in a way, and I understand that it can make me seem more relatable. But another thing that I know, is that it hurts to be told in one way or another that your story is ugly or too much to handle. Very few people will tell you that in so many words. More so, they will just leave. They will see you standing there, all emotionally revealed, and decide that they don't want the burden. You can't really blame them for that. They never signed a contract saying that they would love you no matter what baggage you came with. You decided to tell them. You decided to bare it all to them. So there you stand - naked, alone, and wondering if someone will ever look at all of you and still want you.

          After you get hurt a few times, you'll probably be a little more careful, and maybe a lot more guarded. I suppose that may be a good thing. After all, you don't want to be the girl that emotionally sleeps around, do you? But what happens if you never get naked again? You certainly can't fall in love, that's for sure. I mean, how do you expect someone to love you if they are not getting all of you? Also, if we are never willing to drop our emotional trousers, what is going to make other people feel like they can do the same around us? So I suppose what I'm saying, is that being emotionally naked is a lot like being physically naked in some ways. You don't want to be the girl that reveals it all to everyone, but you also don't want to be the girl that never lets another person see her for who she is. After all, someday you will find the guy who will look at all he sees and still love you for every inch of you.