So we've all heard it, and probably said it: "I have standards for the guys I'll date." I know I have. I spend way too much time thinking to myself about all the required attributes a guy must possess before he even thinks of asking me out. Requirements anywhere from his education, to his clothing, to the first letter of his last name (we must always keep our future monogram in mind, right?). Well put my picturesque prince charming I have in my head next to some of the guys I've actually dated, and you'll think that I lost my mind. Why then, do I spend my time on the boys whose most romantic gesture is sending me the ever-loved "Hey" text? Even more so, why do I put up with the kind of stuff that I do from the guys who I think are interested in me when I've always told myself that I won't tolerate anything less than a gentleman?
"Maybe I should just settle," I think. Maybe I should just be fine with always being the one to text more than three words, pick the conversation topic, etc.. I mean, how do I know that there even is a guy out there who satisfies all of my requirements. Maybe I'm just too picky.
I was on Twitter yesterday, and saw one of my favorite accounts, Bitter Girl Rants (@BitterGirlRants) tweeting about a book called "He's Just Not That Into You." I looked at all the excerpts she was posting, and knew that I needed to get this book as soon as possible. I thought it would help me see what I was missing, and boy was I right. I downloaded the book on my iPad, and started reading it on the elliptical. By the second paragraph, I was laughing hysterically and probably looked like a lunatic to everyone around me. This book, if you have never heard of it, is filled with questions that women sent in about the guy they are interested in, and the responses given by a straight male named Greg. The questions all revolve around the same premise: the woman is somewhat interested in a guy, he seems to be showing some interest back, but he is not following through with his actions. The answer given by Greg is always the same: he's just not that into you.
Now at first you may be thinking what I was when I first read the title. Why would I want to lower my confidence by hearing that this guy is not that into me? Should I just assume that every guy who is not putting all of his effort into getting me is really not that interested? Yes, yes I should. You see, we need to stick to our standards of how we want to be treated by a guy. I think we all have a tendency to forget about our desires as soon as we think that a guy is interested in us, because we all like the idea of being in a relationship to some extent. The last thing we need to be doing is wasting our time hoping that the guy we are interested in will someday live up to our standards, because guess what: he won't. A guy will show you all you need to know by the way he treats you from the very beginning, and that behavior will not change. Now, I am not saying that you shouldn't give a guy your attention if he shows interest in you just because he may not be the prince you had pictured. What I am saying, is that being in a relationship is not enough. You need to save your time and effort for the guy who will put all of his time and effort into getting you and keeping you. Because trust me, you're worth it.
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