Your Questions Answered

Dear lovely ladies,

I have greatly enjoyed reading the emails you have sent me over the time that I have had this account. Many of your stories touch my heart, and I am always anxious to help when I can. While talking with my guy friend one day, I thought that it might be nice to have a boy's perspective on some of the things you all ask me. He and I went over all of your submissions, and have talked about how we would handle them. I have chosen to rewrite the questions before each answer. The answers given are what he and I have chosen to say together, rather than each of us giving individual answers. Please know that this is not a one time occasion, and you can always email me to ask for advice at propergirlproblems@gmail.com.

What is a good outfit for a first date?
     This depends a lot on where you are going! First dates are going to tend to be more casual, rather than a very fancy occasion. Wear something that you are comfortable in, and that is also true to your personality. Ladies, if you are more comfortable in jeans, then find a way to dress them up a bit with a cute top and a clutch. If you want to wear a dress because that makes you feel better, then go right ahead. Just make sure that whatever you wear is something that you don't have to fuss around with. I (proper girl), once made the mistake of wearing a strapless dress on a first date, and had the awkward problem of having to pull it up all the time. Not cute.

How to get a guy to text first?
     This can often be very frustrating, because texting in and of itself is harder to convey feelings through. It can be easy to feel like you are annoying the boy if you are always the one texting first. While the general rule is that if a guy is really into you he will show more effort on the texting front, don't be discouraged if your boy isn't the one always sending the first text. Try to pay attention to other signals such as the conversation after the first text. If his responses are one-worded or  come three hours later, then maybe it's time to move on. On the other hand, if he seems interested in talking and can carry on a relatively decent conversation, then that is a much bigger indicator of interest than who is sending the first message.

How to move on from a guy who broke your heart?
     While it may be very hard to do, the first step is to realize that a broken heart can be repaired. There are other guys out there, and all is not lost. Next, try to learn from the pain. What went wrong in the relationship that you can maybe try to avoid next time? Sometimes this doesn't become clear for awhile, so try to be patient. Finally, we were asked about the idea of revenge. Your happiness should be the ultimate goal in any future plan. What we mean by this, is that you should seek to be happy with someone else because you are trying to have a better relationship, not because you want to get someone back.

What should you do when you feel like you are getting mixed signals from a boy?
     Some days he's giving you that dreamy-eyed look, while other days he may seem cold as ice. How can you tell how he really feels about you? You mainly have two options here. Your first option is to just wait and play along with it. Be cute with him when he is being flirty, and then hang back if he isn't showing the same interest the next day. This requires some patience, but it may allow you to see if there is a pattern to his behavior. Your other option would be to make a bold move and ask him what his feelings are for you. This may result in him telling you he wasn't meaning to give mixed signals, and there isn't something there, but it could also help initiate something great if there really are feelings there. You never know unless you ask!

Again, thank you for all of your lovely notes. We chose to group some of the emails into one question, to avoid repeat answers. If you feel though, that your question was not answered, please let us know, and we will be happy to help!